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September 2010
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Without Clark to add his two cents in sometimes I’m wondering what to post about. If there is something you’ve been wondering about/wanting to know more about/a question leave it in the comments and I’ll see what I can do.

An unwilling subject

I have to say, I never realized how patient Remmy was being my number one photo subject and sitting exactly where I told him to. I’ve been trying to get a good picture of Rio and he is just not interested in being my muse. Even when I broke out the bucket of grain and rattled it he was not all that interested. He’s been there, done that and, apparently, already has the photo.

See his lips? Even horses make faces for photos they don’t want to take.

At least he looks peaceful here. And isn’t walking away from me.

I am shaking the grain can for all I’m worth and finally I get some interest from Rio.

I really wanted a picture of Rio in front of the apple tree but this was as good as we got.

There is so much intelligence in his eyes…as he blows me off and walks away again. Apparently Grass > Tovah.

Power tools!

Now I’ve used some power tools before but lately I’ve been using a lot more. I was thinking of listing the projects that I’ve done and it just seemed out of control. So let’s just do some fun before and after pictures.

Before: These “posts” were helping hold up the porch roof at my parent’s rental house. They had been patched over the years but dry rot was really making itself known.

After: Pressure treated and sturdily screwed into place these new posts will last a long time. The angle for the roof is better for draining rain (something Oregon gets a lot of) and they are set on concrete instead of the dirt. They’ve also had an antique railing hung between them for a nice decorative look. Oh and that stuff in the background has been hauled to the dump.

Before: A couple of boards were rotting in the front steps. Further inspection shows that the whole staircase has weakened.

After: A whole new staircase has been built from the ground up. I used the power saw! Or is it the circular saw? Um, well I helped cut the boards. (Yes, it’s safe to walk on.)

See? Here we are sitting on it. Don’t mind the denuded bushes. My dad says the leaves will grow back. I told him I didn’t think anyone was going to be hiring for his yard skills anytime soon.

Okay we didn’t really use power tools but another big project was putting in this stone sidewalk. I’m sure it will be an improvement over walking through the mud once the rains hit.


And the latest project–refinishing the floor in the dining and living room. My back is so sore…but it looks great, right, mom (the driving force behind this crazy project)?

What I’ve been doing

I was worried when I planned to come to Oregon that I wouldn’t have enough to do to fill my time. How silly of me! I didn’t even need to volunteer outside of my parent’s house–between them and my sister I had more then enough to do. Honestly I was happy to help out. I felt like my family was doing so much for me by taking me in during this hard time that it was nice to give back to them.  Plus I do love seeing things cleaned up.

At my sister’s house I helped her clean out her garage and a covered patio area. The garage had narrowed down to a little path from the front to the back and it was mostly due to poor organization. After doing things like putting all the paint together, the tools together, all the gardening stuff together and leaning extra wood and dry wall against a wall instead of against Zach’s work  bench  not only was it more organized but there was an open space in the middle and room for them to store their bikes without tripping over them every time they walked through. The covered patio had become a place to just stash stuff. After a trip to the dump, the thrift store and selling a few things on craigslist they have more room for seating and BBQing. It took a few days but I think (I hope!) they’ll keep on keeping things organized and be able to enjoy their living spaces more.

Meanwhile at my parent’s house I’ve been helping refinish a chair (pictures to come) and cabinet tops:

I have cleaned parts of their very large basement. My mom had bought several clear plastic containers with the idea of putting things in them but still being able to tell what was in the box. However she hadn’t taken the last step of actually putting things in the containers. So I emptied cardboard boxes in the clear plastic totes so that she has a better idea of what she has.

My biggest thought in cleaning and organizing was not to get my parents to get rid of what they have but to just see what they have. By storing the same items in several places they forget what they have or where to find it–and then buy another one. Does anyone need ten pairs of garden clippers? No but when they are stored in the basement, the shed and the kitchen in pairs of two or three it doesn’t seem like you have that many. I think this is a common problem. The other common problem is people keeping things due to sentimental attachment–even if the item is something they would never otherwise buy/keep.

In America we’re always told that more is better but I think I’d rather have quality over quantity. It is hard to sort through things (my mom even called me a slave driver at one point because I was making her make hard decisions) but I think it is important to make sure that you actually enjoy the things that you have around you and are able to find items when you need them. After all what is the point of keeping “treasured” items in a box in the basement if they never see the light of day and you hardly even remember that you have them? Says the girl with three boxes of plastic horses in her guest room that she played with as a child. Hmmm, looks like I’ll need to do some cleaning when I go home!

More tomorrow about what I’ve been doing–I’ve also been learning how to use power tools!

Oregon Beauty

In Oregon even the parking lots are beautiful; look at those fluffy clouds.

My time in Oregon is winding down. In one week there is a plane going to Virginia and if it weren’t for Remmy and Clark I wouldn’t be on it. My time in Oregon has been so good for my soul. I wasn’t only homesick for a place but for the people in that place. Even though this is the most time I’ve spent here in five years I’ve seen the least people. The first couple of weeks I stuck close to my parents and my sister. I was soaking in their love and finding the equilibrium and the safety I’d lost. Not to say that I’m cured but I’m certainly in a better place. I still haven’t sought out a lot of friends, please don’t feel bad if I didn’t visit you. This trip has been about me, not about visiting.

A fair day–there is a horse running barrels under that blue blue sky.

It’s so funny to look at my time in Virginia. What went wrong there? Who was that girl? I feel like I don’t know her. Really I just don’t want to know her. The despair was so overwhelming. The loneliness swallowed me and every day was filled with innumerable fears. It’s hard to go back because I’m afraid of becoming that person again. I’m facing down my fear though, no more ignoring it or trying to shove it away.  I have been working hard on my coping skills and have found my Corvallis masseuse/yoga teacher has had more helpful ideas and coping mechanisms for me then the therapist back in VA ever had.

A creek bordering the bike path, wild beauty for all to see and enjoy.

Although I am so grateful for the medical care that Clark’s job provides for us sometimes I feel like all they want to do is throw medicine at the problem and not find out what is causing the problem. But that’s a post for some other blog. What I really wanted to say was that Oregon is beautiful and I have found help here that I could not get in Virginia. I have loved my time here.

The beautiful night sky over the Memorial Union on campus at OSU.

There are things you can’t appreciate until they are gone. There are things a child cannot appreciate that I have been lucky to discover as an adult. I did not know how amazing my family was until I needed to lean on them. I have driven them crazy with my cleaning and sorting and organizing. This last month I have been busy straightening up their basements, garages, offices and yards but really I have just been trying to straighten out my life. To figure myself out again.  I think it is partially the beauty in Oregon that helped me see the beauty in myself again.

60 years together

60 years is an unfathomable amount of time to me. At 28 I’m already starting to feel older, and realizing that I’m not the youngest one in the room anymore. (Wait, when did I become an adult?!) The weight of the amount of living that goes into 60 years seems immense and to be married for that amount of time is such a foreign concept in this day and age. I feel so lucky that I got to attend the 60th wedding anniversary of Ken and Betty. They are long time friends of my parents and knew me all the way back when I was a toddler.

On Saturday I got to watch them laugh together and it was beautiful to to see Ken wrap his arm around Betty and gaze at her with such love–even after 60 years together. Their children and grandchildren gathered and so did old friends, like my parents. We saw a slideshow of pictures of their life, sang songs together and watched skits, including one where Ken and Betty “renewed” their vows with quips such as “I promise to not throw out your green sweater again” (with the rejoinder of “you can’t; it’s already gone!”) and “I promise to find you when you get lost in walmart.” The food was a Hawaiian luau and the cake was chocolate and decadent.  The people were happy and full of fond memories.

A lot of happy and funny stories were told. However, I’m sure being married wasn’t always easy which makes it all the more inspiring to see a couple that has come so far. I’m so glad I got to be there because it was a joyous celebration of a wonderful union.

Snapshots from the Clackamas county fair

I’m sorry, but there is no way that on this Monday morning you are having as much fun as these Llamas. I see now that becoming rich and famous is not the true indication of living the good life. No, living the good life really begins when you have a straw hat like these ones. Good to know. (Also good to know–if your ears are really big you can just cut holes in the hat so it fits better.)

Prepare yourself for the next photo. I knew milk came from cows but have you ever seen it pumped from their bodies?! Oh my goodness–a bit creepy! And don’t show me where ice cream comes from. I’d like to keep living in ignorance on that point.

My nephew is four and he’s recently discovered the joy of making faces when people try to take photos. Little punk.

It was another great day at the fair. Especially that marionberry shortcake with ice cream that I ate; it was huge and delicious. Oh and the company was great! I love telling my sister “I’ll see you tomorrow” and then being able to drive a couple of hours and see her. And hearing my nephew say that he loves me and getting a big hug from him. It’s going to be hard to go back to VA.

So today I saw the sun

The weird thing about my job on Enterprise in comparison to Halsey is that I never see the sun. I work several decks down, deep in the Engineering pit and will go days and days without seeing the outside. When I do see the outside it is just a side view out the hanger bay door. Two nights ago I made a point of going topside at sunset and seeing the actual sun. It was a glorious thing. Just feeling sun on my face, even if it was the dissipating last rays of the day felt fantastic. I was stunned by how much natural light hurt my eyes and the realization of how odd my world is.

On Halsey I saw the sun every day. My job was primarily a topside job and I was a five & dime Officer of the Deck (OOD). As OOD I saw the sun all the time and didn’t realize how pleasant that was. These days in the dark are ending soon and I’ll be able to enjoy the world as it is meant to be seen: in the sun.

The process of getting Rio from the pasture

Dark horse says “Well hello there lady with a camera. You cannot pass into our pasture unless you give us treats. Apples or carrots are accepted.”

Blondie says “I, personally prefer peppermints. It does not appear that you have any treats on you.”

*for non-horsey people: the horses aren’t blindfolded, they are wearing fly masks to keep the flies from bothering them. It’s basically like a screen over their eyes.

Mr. Paint horse says “Hold on guys. I’ll get up close and personal and do a body check. Pockets, hands, Nope. No treats. “

Tovah says “Uh, sorry guys. I’m here for Rio anyway. Do you know where he is?”

They all look out to the farthest corner of the pasture. Of course.

“Hey Rio! It sure is a pretty day but I bet even more then eating grass you’d like to get some attention right?”

“I mean, here I am, excited to see you and love on you and ride. WAY better then grass, right?”

“Um, Rio?”

Rio: “Well, yeah, I guess it could be nice.”

Rio: “So do you have any treats?”

45 days and counting…

As of when this gets posted I’ll have 45 days left attached to Enterprise. It won’t end soon enough. My days at sea here are a mixture of silent pride from doing a job well and taking care of my guys, incredible frustration due to the rampant B.S., and a desire to beat the crap out of two-faced political pricks.

On a happier note I’ve been enjoying some escapism by watching HBO’s Deadwood. I’ve been a huge proponent of the several other HBO series: Rome (my favorite show of all time), The Sopranos and The Wire. Ordinarily I’m not very into westerns but Deadwood brings the same high production values, attention to detail and phenomenal characters of other HBO series and in turn has gotten me hooked. Over the past six or seven months I’ve noticed a shift in my leisure interests from video games to television series. On shore duty I fully intend to take advantage of Netflix. Life is going to be so good so soon.

My guys continue to humble and impress me. Sure, I’ve got a couple of troublemakers who monopolize my time. It’s often said that a good leader spends 90% of his/her time with 10% of his/her people, that 10% being the unruly. But by and large my guys work daily miracles in an Engineroom which sits at 108-112 degrees with nearly 100% humidity. It’s so oppressive and they just persevere day after day. I don’t know how they do it.